Thursday, August 21, 2008

Its that day again. Its that time of year.

So, Fay is here and I haven't floated away yet. Sorry that I haven't updated for you guys in a while. Basically I've just been working and looking for another job. I do like the job I have, but its in the wrong place for a coffee shop so there's not much business. Not much business means that I get less hours. And less hours means less money. SO I looked around and applied at Winn Dixie in Fernandina. They called me in for an interview and a drug test. Then they said that they would call me when they got the results back. I'm hoping to have the coffee shop in the morning and Winn Dixie in the evening. Or just full time Winn Dixie. I think I'm going to get more pay there. Plus I'll have an excuse to go to Fernandina. I really wish I could live there. Its a nice area that's a little more "me" than Oceanway. All that's in oceanway is a bunch of rednecks and a shopping center. The only great thing here is Starbucks, and that's too expensive and too many calories to have every day.

I'm starting to get that "stuck" feeling again. I came down here expecting to get a job, go to school, and be involved in a growing church. And here I am three months later finally getting a job, but its not enough of one to go to school off of. I'm still waiting on the Air National Guard (they called and said that the recruiter would call me this week, but they were activated for the storm on Monday, so I guess that's why I haven't heard anything.) to call me. And I do go to celebration, but its difficult for me to hang out with anyone because they all live on the Southside, and I don't have gas to go out there 4 times a week. I finally actually hung out with some people on Saturday night, but I want to do more than hang out with the people from it. I want to actually do stuff that I'm capable of doing and helping with, but everything that I think I can do sounds like its already covered. So I don't know. I guess I'll hang around some more to see if there's somewhere I can help out with things. I would rather be a host than a parasite. Another thing is that I just feel weird around some of those people. I mean not like a bad weird but more of just uncomfortable. I guess its just because I'm from a different part of Jacksonville than most of them, and a lot of them are either going to school or just got done with it. So I sort of have a different life than most of them from what I can tell. Then I just miss everyone that I already know. Most of the friends that I had here I can't get a hold of, and everyone else that I know lives in NC. So its just kind of difficult to adjust to everything at the same time. The culture here is soo different. In Raleigh, there's music everywhere. And here, the only music you ever hear of is the rap that people blast through their subs. I guess there is a pocket of music somewhere, but I just haven't found it yet. Its kind of hard to when half the time you spend with people is spent with your grandparents.

Overall, I'm starting to wonder if moving here was the right thing to do. In NC, I had a little money, and I could've took out a small loan to go to college. And I did whine about all of this crap here, but the power went out last night. I don't know what this will post as, but its now 10:45 on Friday. Basically I just miss people and I don't want to waste my time here (or anywhere for that matter). And I want my decisions to be the best ones.

Fay update...
Last night was pretty windy and rainy. There were brilliant flashes of light not too far from the house. I don't think it was lightning because they were mostly a bold blue. And then there were a couple of red flashes too. It couldn't have been a police car, because they were too bright and they were not constant. It looked like maybe something electrical. I think it could've been the sign at the gas station, but I don't know because I haven't seen it yet. Plus after the light, there were faint buzzing sounds (like electricity). And one time there was this weird humming sound that sounded like a sad excuse for an air raid siren. It sounded kind of like the space ships in old alien movies when they hover. But I'm still here, and its still raining and the wind is still blowing.


artisticace'smom said...

I'm glad to hear that you are still hanging in there...I feel for ya...sometimes life just isn't easy, or definitely doesn't go the way we want it. I'll pray it goes better, I do miss seeing you around.
Take care,

LoveDeath said...

thanks. I miss being around.