tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40260520593629711362024-03-06T01:56:20.994-05:00I Desire The EndJay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.comBlogger143125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-59158522684256082882010-12-23T01:28:00.003-05:002010-12-23T01:43:49.567-05:00Sunrise (Song)Sunrise, oh Sunrise<br />Early in the morning I long to greet you.<br />Sunrise, oh Sunrise<br />Take me to the water because I want to meet you<br />there.<br />I want to meet you<br />there where we talk to<br />each other and smile.<br />Please dear I know that<br />Its been quite a while.<br /><br />Sunrise, oh Sunrise<br />Early in the morning I long to greet you.<br />Sunrise, oh Sunrise<br />Take me to the water I'd be glad to see you<br />there.<br />I'm so glad to see you<br />here just in front of<br />my eyes for a while.<br />I hope you will know that<br />Your face makes me smile.<br /><br />Sunrise, oh Sunrise<br />Early in the morning I long to greet you.<br /><br />Sunrise, oh Sunrise<br />The beauty you show me<br />Sunrise, oh Sunrise<br />Is letting me know that<br />Sunrise, oh Sunrise<br />Whatever's inside me<br />Is greater than I've come<br />to know.Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-40788623533648680092010-04-09T02:09:00.003-04:002010-04-09T02:15:21.808-04:00New Video ProjectSo I started an online journal for my new video project. Right now it has no set title, but we'll call it "What People Think About Christians." Be sure to check it out regularly as I tell you about all the nifty experiences and what God is showing me through something he has given me to do. Day 2 is tomorrow! Check it out here at : <a href="http://burningrosevideo.blogspot.com/">Burning Rose</a>. The URL is http://burningrosevideo.blogspot.com/Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-24297882463607850392010-01-25T12:21:00.001-05:002010-01-25T12:23:11.063-05:00The Mexican FishermanI found this on <a href="http://www.everydayminimalist.com/">another blog </a>and liked it....<br /><br />An American tourist was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.<br />Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The tourist complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.<br />The Mexican replied, “Only a little while.”<br />The tourist then asked, “Why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?”<br />The Mexican said, “With this I have more than enough to support my family’s needs.”<br />The tourist then asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”<br />The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life.”<br />The tourist scoffed, ” I can help you. You should spend more time fishing; and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat: With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor; eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You could leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles and eventually New York where you could run your ever-expanding enterprise.”<br />The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”<br />The tourist replied, “15 to 20 years.”<br />“But what then?” asked the Mexican.<br />The tourist laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions.”<br />“Millions?…Then what?”<br />The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-69408136449452228802010-01-22T02:06:00.002-05:002010-01-22T02:11:30.974-05:00This Ends NowAbout fifteen minutes ago, I looked into the mirror and realized I'm becoming fat, lazy, and complacent, and other things that I never want to become. It all ends now.<br /><br />"Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always. Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced." -1 Chronicles 16:11-12Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-78076925172304641722009-11-30T20:19:00.000-05:002009-11-30T20:42:23.158-05:00I Am Broken Before YouYou are sovereign, God. You are the Lord God who made the stillness- the quiet that surrounds me. The leaf flutters even when the wind moves gently because the wind is much greater than the leaf. You made the birds that sing their song for the purpose of our ears. How can I write about silence? How can I write about such a thing? I do not know it fully, for even now I hear the quiet, distant bird and the faint chatter of the insects. O Lord, your love is in the insects- the grasshoppers who have no king yet are motivated by your purpose and your design. Move me as you move them. You do move me yet unknowingly I resist. Though I long to know you, I cannot fully know. Just as I call this silence, so I call you God, Sovereign, Yahweh, Creator, Love. I would never fully grasp the depth of silence unless my ears were removed from my head. In the same way I can never fully grasp you until I am brought to perfection as you are. Though you can see perfection, I have no concept of exactly what it is for my ears have only heard of it. My eyes have not yet seen it. The wind blows, but I only hear the trees. I give this day to you, whatever it may be. Strip me down and let me leave all I've known for all I need.<br /><br />I had a dream last night. I don't remember all of the details as I did when I woke up for the first of three times this morning, but I do remember some. I was on an island in a castle filled with people that I loved and filled with people that loved me. There was more, but I think it was just me interacting with those people and having fun and enjoying being around them. I do remember that the skies quickly grew dark and storms came. There were people with me in the first one, but as the intensity of the storms grew, the people around me grew fewer and fewer until no one was left but me. The storm grew so fierce that all of the windows in the tower were blown away, and I fell to the floor and crawled against a wall to hide from the wind. As I cowered there wondering what happened to everyone and when was this going to end, a door was blown away by the wind and Jesus was standing there. He gave me this look of "I got this. Don't worry." And that's the last I remember.Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-39290021107805062852009-11-25T16:40:00.004-05:002009-11-25T17:12:40.011-05:00ReallY?Wow. I've been sitting here for a while and have done absolutely nothing useful. So with a biscotti in my left hand and a coffee in my right I decided to update my blog since I'm obviously not going to get any real work done in this place. I checked my email, poked around on Facebook (its been a while), looked at new computer possibilities, and pondered my life.<br /><br />Then I realized my computer has been running awfully slow lately so I checked my task manager window. I was only running one very small application and my CPU load was fine, but for some reason I was using 1.3GB of memory! Gah. I only have about 1.5GB of RAM in the whole computer. So I started killing processes left and right. That helped some, but not too much. Then I remembered that Dad had the same problem a while back. I called and asked what he did. I had to go msconfig and kill all of the unncessary start up programs, which was all but two. And there were a lot of them. So now even with the internet open, a wireless configuration utility, and iTunes playing Demon Hunter and converting files I'm only using around 400MB of page file. Pretty sweet. And everything is so much smoother. Hurray for cell phones and Dads that know things.<br /><br />So now tonight I'm going to our Thanksgiving eve service at church. I don't recall ever going in the five years that I've been here. I wonder what its going to be like... I guess we shall see.<br />I've been really down and unproductive lately. Its like there has been something blocking me from being productive and doing useful things for my life. I think I know what it is (I don't want to be too specifically personal on the www, but don't worry its nothing that would change the content rating of my blog or anything even remotely in that area- for those who would take it in that direction. I just don't want people to speculate about things that they don't know.) and my mind shouldn't dwell on it too much longer (I hope) but I still do. I feel like I've just wasted so much time lately, but now I have an oppourtunity to pick up and move on to where I was. I was going so strong, but then I let myself get a bit distracted. I knew I shouldn't have in the first place, but I did. I lay my forehead to the table as a result of my clouded thinking. Oh well, "Don't waste time on what might have been." That is a fortune cookie I got a while back and it has been in my wallet to remind me to keep pressing foward no matter what things used to look like. It is different now. The matter of what is good and what is best has been settled. And as the cold azure sky is highlighted with swirls of warm pink with a hint of orange and the world is cast in warm colors against a cool background, I shall leave my seat and begin the night.Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-12480174295585589302009-11-03T21:40:00.003-05:002009-11-25T16:37:14.778-05:00These Hands Have Done No Work Yet They Tire so EasilyOh God how I long to love thee more, but my frail mind cannot comprehend such a motion. Not that I love thee with greatness, but that thou art so great that mind only comes to closest substitution when I come to think of thee. Oh God change my heart so that it may in turn change the world around it. I am so petty. I am so useless. I am so unfocused. Give my hands something good to do so that I may once again know what it is to find satisfaction in the work of them.Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-12336068290357438792009-10-25T23:21:00.002-04:002009-10-25T23:30:02.812-04:00The Father's SongHeaven's perfect melody<br />The Creator's symphony<br />You are singing over me<br />The Father's song<br />Heaven's perfect mystery<br />The king of love has sent for me<br />And now you are singing over me<br />The Father's song.<br /><br />I will rest in this and only this- That my Father is exponentially more powerful than I can ever be. He gives me his love which is the greatest love, and I find peace and strength through him. He is the only way that I will ever be a greater person. He is the only truth I need when all other things are obscure. My world is obscure, but he has a greater purpose than I could ever try to fulfill if I knew his plan on my own.Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-61302153692395226292009-10-17T00:33:00.004-04:002009-10-17T01:56:48.568-04:00Flaming RoseHosea 10:12-13 "Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love and break up your unplowed ground for it is time to seek the Lord, until he comes and showers righteousness upon you. But you have planted wickedness, you have reaped evil, you have eaten the fruit of deception. Because you have depended on your own strength and many warriors."<br /><br />I really wish I wasn't depriving myself of sleep to write this, but as the whipped cream melts into the hot chocolate and the hot chocolate becomes chocolate milk I must make this brief....<br /><br />There are so many wonderful things in these two verses that, if my mind were to put thoughts together properly and keep them in there, I could write pages upon pages. But one thing I wanted to point out was the mention of the unplowed ground. Unplowed ground, especially if it is extremely hard, cannot receive all of the necessary moisture or nutrients necessary for farming. In order to plow this ground, something hard and heavy (i.e. a plow) must be used to dig in and expose what is inside. If we are to reap this fruit of unfailing love, we must plow the land of our hearts. Not what has already been turned over, but we must plow what has never been touched. If the land had feelings when it was plowed you would hear it groan in pain as the horses drug the plow across its surface. But it would feel much better when the rain comes and it is able to do so much more for the crops it yeilds. And so it is with our hearts. There are things in our lives which we have kept to ourselves and allowed no one else to touch. To allow that "dirt" to be dug in when it has never been touched is at first difficult to access. Then it is hard and painful to let what it is that is plowing to dig in our hearts and expose what is within us. But because this is exposed, we are able to absorb more of the "showers of rightousness" that God has already been trying to rain on our lives. Sure unlplowed land can still get wet, but it is only when it has been plowed that what has been planted within it can trully grow to its full potential.<br /><br />This is something that I've been learning in my life lately through experiences and it was just now shown to me in this verse. This verse actually has a lot to do with what God has been showing me in my life over the past few years and I've just been able to get to the point of plowing my unplowed ground- looking at aspects of myself that I wanted to leave in that meadow behind the woods. Though I knew the meadow was there and I could retreat to it every now and again, it was not doing me any good. But now the ground is really being broken and I will seek the Lord until he comes.<br /><br />I will try to speak more on this verse later...<br />And "Flaming Rose" is what we're thinking about naming the videography business...Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-66740686364497229552009-10-13T22:09:00.004-04:002009-10-13T23:13:24.663-04:00Fall "Break" and new stuffzI am two hours away from the end of my fall break. What have I done during that break? Well I've dealt with some fear issues within myself and grown closer to God. Friday night I was a bit distressed and had a long phone conversation. Then I didn't feel good at all by 2am, so I had to call out of work for Saturday. <br />Because of some realizations that I had on Friday, I decided to go up to the seminary on Saturday and just pray and read my Bible. I read through Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon, Colossians, and 1 Thessalonians and various other scriptures and just prayed that God would make me a stronger man, and not the whiner that I've been lately. I am very thankful that some weaknesses about my personality were pointed out to me. These were things that I was slightly aware of already, but when someone else pointed it out to me I was very senstive of it. And then I realized that lately I've lost a lot of good qualities that I used to have. And I've been praying that God would give those back to me. Sunday, I finally took the kyak out with Robert and Katie. We skipped rocks, and rowed around a bit on Falls Lake. Well, Robert and I did most of the rowing. <br />Sunday night, Katie and I had a much needed discussion on some communication issues on my part. I know now thatI need to be completely open and not vauge about what I say. And I need to not be afraid to say anything. And I guess some of you that may read this blog know that I have a tendency toward vaguness. I can easily say what I want to say without someone ever knowing I said it. And when it comes to communicating on a personal level, that can be a very dangerous habit.<br />Robert spent the night on Sunday and I showed him around the good 'ol Funkytown after we played SmashBros till about 1:30am. Then I met up with Chad at Starbucks where he prety much talked to me about communication in relationships without me even bringing it up. Yeah, I think God was trying to tell me something...<br />I hung out with Katie all afternoon and we read random spats in the Bible and prayed a bit. Then we talked for quite a while, until we were both hungry- it feels really good to be able to talk to someone. So we made some dinner and watched Beauty and the Beast. Oh man, I haven't seen that movie in at least four years. The ballroom scene amazes me everytime. And now that I know how to anaylize stories better, its cool to see all of the symbols, messages and themes that they have going on in that movie. Spectacular.<br /><br />And I wrote a new poem on my poetry blog today. <a href="http://lovedeathpoems.blogspot.com/">Check it out.</a><br /><br />In other recent developments, Stefan and I are starting a wedding videography business. We don't have a name for it yet. (Help with that is greatly appreciated) and I have a short, 45 second sample reel to get us going. Tell me what you think please. I'm debating on if that is the proper music or not. And if you know anyone who is getting married, you can give them our name. We'll be shooting in HD with two cameras and charge less than a lot of the guys who shoot "broadcast quality" with one. So here it is. Enjoy.<br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwXvwWaxd7smV931_67BUDRZvS54uoreDox6XE0OdUshJn1DxNg2aUyagiMAu8j3Lit5BvOM4ASM2mTPJCVyQ' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe>Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-91304033569405379872009-10-05T23:50:00.003-04:002009-10-06T00:06:18.214-04:00And Life Goes On...Hi there! I know I've been MIA on here for a while, but I have decided it would be beneficial for me to return. I really have missed writing on here and I have no clue why I kinda dropped off the face of the internet. So now instead of just thinking about writing to someone out there on the vast expanse of the internet, I'm actually writing to you- whoever you are that is reading this. Yes you! Because you're important enough for me to let you know about me. Whether I know you or not. This is just a prelude into more days of blogging...but... since I've been away for so long its General Life Goings update:<br /> <ul><br /><li>I now live all alone in this big empty house. Meaning I have to pay more money to live.</li><br /><li>I still work at the same job. :/ </li><br /><li>I met an amazing girl that I have become very close with, and it just feels natural to be around her. Maybe more on that subject later eh? ;)... </li><br /><li> Anchor Soul is back! And its going to be freaking amazing this year. Its so good to be doing that again.</li></ul><br />So just to let you know, you will be hearing from me a lot more from now on. I need to write and you want something to read. You know you do. ;)Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-89712599677904131472009-06-27T01:16:00.002-04:002009-06-27T01:20:13.425-04:00Church Discipline- From Discussion Group on 6/25/09<span style="font-style: italic;">I posted this on a discussion board for a bible study group that I will speak more of on here when I have the time... This is from the notes I took on our discussion of Church Discipline on Thursday. I just finished writing it.</span><br /><br />The purpose of Church discipline is the restoration of the fallen brother (or sister, but just to make it easy the person will be referred to as brother from now on. lol).<br />In Galatians 6:1 Paul says that if someone is caught in sin, "you who are spiritual should restore him gently." Paul gives us an example of this in the first part of 2 Corinthians 2 where someone has done something wrong (possibly a reference to 1 Corinthians 5) in the church and has already been punished for it. The "majority" did punish this person somehow, but at the same time Paul says in verse 7 to "forgive and comfort him so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow." This means that when an issue of sin needs to be addressed it should not be done out of malice or some other form of ill intent, but rather "so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord." (1 Cor. 5:5) And we must forgive so that "Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes." And his scheme in that place would be to divide the Church so that it would become ineffective as a tool for God.<br />"A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough." It is not good to never address the sin once we are aware of it. In 1 Corinthians 5, the church embraced the sin that the man did. Paul says to "put out of you fellowship the man who did this" and "expel the wicked from among you" We should not allow one who continues in sin to create division through their sin. In Matthew 18:15... Jesus gives the guidelines for dealing with someone who you know is in sin: speak with them on your own, and if that doesn't work after a while, get a few people to go with you to speak with him, and if that doesn't work, then it should be brought to the attention of the body of believers. And if he still refuses to listen, Jesus says to treat him as a tax collector or pagan: an outsider. According to Paul's example with the church of Corinth, when that person realizes that they were wrong and changes, we can love them enough to bring them back gently rather than continually bash their face in with it. We are not above falling ourselves (Gal 6:1, Titus 3:3).<br />We are to be held accountable to each other through the church by God's word. When we make a commitment to be associated with other believers, we are making a commitment to be held accountable by them to what God says. If we are committed to one another under the Bible, discipline flows naturally. We are to be one body unified by one purpose. We can never be too "holy" to be humble. We should desire correction from one another if one of us is in sin.<br /><br />- If anyone has anything to add feel free to on this discussion board. Or if anyone was there and sees that I said something completely wrong about what we discussed or the conclusions we came to through our discussions please correct me. It is possible sometimes that I will take notes and not remember exactly what I meant those notes to say so then when I reproduce them to the world in a halfway intelligible form, it may come out wrong.<br /><br />1 Peter 4:7-8 "7The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. 8Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-20998253475436599222009-05-21T00:03:00.006-04:002009-05-21T01:30:10.841-04:00But Here You AreLately I guess I've just been getting a lot of kicks to the face from God. These kicks are things that are teaching me how I should grow and love and whatever else it is that God thinks I should know more about or see in who I am or rather who I've become.<br />So I want to live my life the best I can. So what? there are so many other people trying to do the exact same thing. Doing the best <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">I</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"> </span>can is something that I was focused so much on for the past year, possibly two years of my life. Its been "God how can <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">I</span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"> </span>best serve you with what <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">I</span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"> </span>have?"<span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>Its taken a lot for him to show me "Jeremy, YOU have nothing. You have done nothing. Can't you see this whole time that it was ME giving you everything that you posses within you and around you?" Lately I've been trying to measure up to the things that <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">I</span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"> </span>think that I should be doing or the way that I think is the right way to go or the thing that I think I should do. And all the while I can now imagine God going:<br /><br />"Jeremy, here is this month's car payment so you will see that I do provide. Jeremy, here is this camera so I can produce great and mighty things because of you. Jeremy, here is a friend because you cannot yet grasp that I am enough. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me... I am not in the earthquake that you so desperately hope to shake your life. I am not in the fire that you wish to destroy all but the path you should take. For in the earthquake you would be swallowed by the earth, and in the fire you would be consumed in the flames. No, I am not in these signs and wonders that you seek. As if my might and power need to be proven! No I am not. I AM the whisper. I am that silent wind that you hear only when you are standing still. I am that one thing that you- because of your preconceived human ideologies; you- because of this pathetic little box you have attempted to place me in (no matter how big you hope it to be); I am the one thing that you never thought I would be- the silence, the "nothing". I am the stillness in your heart when all things seem to never cease. I am the peace in your mind when all logic tells you that you are doomed. I am the tranquil silence when all of your emotions seem to scream with rage. I am the Love that you thought you forgot how to be. I am everything that YOU could never be. Come near to me by standing still, and everything will be for my glory in the end. I will use you in ways that not even on your best days can do on your own. Be still and know that I am God. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."<br /><br />Love is patient. I will wait on the Lord. How I claim to love God with all my heart and yet not be patient, when he himself gives the first characteristic of love as patience! Oh, to be human! But to be human is to be loved by God. Oh, to be human! What a joy it can be when all I do is stop screaming at him long enough to listen to him whisper his reply: "Why are you crying out to me? You need only to be still."<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Exodus 14</span></span><sup id="en-NIV-1900" class="versenum" value="10"><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> 10</span></sup><span style="font-style: italic;"> As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them. They were terrified and cried out to the LORD. </span><sup style="font-style: italic;" id="en-NIV-1901" class="versenum" value="11">11</sup><span style="font-style: italic;"> They said to Moses, "Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? </span><sup style="font-style: italic;" id="en-NIV-1902" class="versenum" value="12">12</sup><span style="font-style: italic;"> Didn't we say to you in Egypt, 'Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians'? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!"</span><sup style="font-style: italic;" id="en-NIV-1903" class="versenum" value="13"><br /> 13</sup><span style="font-style: italic;"> Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. </span><sup style="font-style: italic;" id="en-NIV-1904" class="versenum" value="14">14</sup><span style="font-style: italic;"> The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."</span><sup id="en-NIV-1905" class="versenum" value="15"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /> 15</span></sup><span style="font-style: italic;"> Then the LORD said to Moses, "Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on. </span><sup style="font-style: italic;" id="en-NIV-1906" class="versenum" value="16">16</sup><span style="font-style: italic;"> Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites can go through the sea on dry ground. </span><sup style="font-style: italic;" id="en-NIV-1907" class="versenum" value="17">17</sup><span style="font-style: italic;"> I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians so that they will go in after them. And I will gain glory through Pharaoh and all his army, through his chariots and his horsemen. </span><sup style="font-style: italic;" id="en-NIV-1908" class="versenum" value="18">18</sup><span style="font-style: italic;"> The Egyptians will know that I am the LORD when I gain glory through Pharaoh, his chariots and his horsemen." </span>Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-41479143157623160582009-05-14T00:57:00.003-04:002009-05-14T01:09:48.002-04:00I Thought You Were Far Away...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtrBvIhfTGeEoFss2tENcFYwjFkLiNWw_iC1bktn18seV7R2nUhP47-B4TxwQZ9URA7vYKF-eyH3RVfecgmBUjGaFOSX0viqmqHksIhygXlqVTncRHUUuhBo5a1RSgMlM-bMp95bbpbsbw/s1600-h/090410+038.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtrBvIhfTGeEoFss2tENcFYwjFkLiNWw_iC1bktn18seV7R2nUhP47-B4TxwQZ9URA7vYKF-eyH3RVfecgmBUjGaFOSX0viqmqHksIhygXlqVTncRHUUuhBo5a1RSgMlM-bMp95bbpbsbw/s320/090410+038.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5335540618228901074" border="0" /></a>Well I really wanted to update people on what's going on with me, but I need to go to bed so I'll leave you with this lovely picture. I called it "muddy espresso." 4 shots (I think) of espresso over probably 2 oz. of premelted chocolate. And of course whipped cream. The topping is chocolate shavings from the bottom of the bag of the chocolate chips. I made it a while back. It was amazing.Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-14150354982248325172009-04-19T01:27:00.002-04:002009-04-19T02:09:08.625-04:00The tounge sets the course of life on fire.Quick story:<br /> I went to see a show at the National today in Richmond, VA. Between sets, just after I tie my shoe, this girl comes and taps me on the shoulder...<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Random Girl: Hey (said in the tone of "Hi I haven't seen you in a while")</span><br />ME: uh Hey.<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Random Girl: What's your name?</span><br />ME: Jeremy, what's yours?<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Random Girl: Well I'm Sarah and this is Rachel</span><br />ME: Well nice to meet you. Where are you guys from?<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">SARAH: Here. Where are you from?</span><br />ME: Raleigh.<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">SARAH:</span> *raises eyebrows as if Raleigh were some distant far away land* <span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">So who are you here to see?</span><br />ME: Well, my friend told me that Norma Jean was playing...<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">SARAH: Yeah we were here to see them too, but we just found out that they backed out.</span><br />ME: Yeah, my friend told me while we were waiting in line.<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">SARAH: I really did like their older stuff with their old lead singer. Like from Bless the Martyr Kiss the Child.</span><br />ME: Yeah Josh Scoggin is amazing. But the name of the band still carries on and I really wanted to see "Norma Jean" just to say I did.<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">SARAH: We tried like 4 times now but we just keep missing them. So where are your friends?</span><br />ME: Oh they're up there(midlevel). I decided I might as well come up here.<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">SARAH: Well we're up there (I'm assuming she meant upper level).</span><br />ME: cool<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">SARAH: So how old are you?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">ME: 20</span><br /><br />*Sarah looks at Rachel*<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">SARAH: We gotta go.</span><br />ME: OK nice meeting you. [as they scamper off towards the doors that lead upstairs]<br /><br />Then I got a text from Nicole: "You look cool with all your friends"<br />"Did you see them?"<br />"Yeah. I can see them now."<br />"After they asked my age they walked away. Knowing my luck they were probably 14. haha"<br /><br />Overall a pretty fun night, except for a no moshing or crowd surfing policy. Of course we had our short little moshpits anyways. We even had a brief wall of death and almost started a circle pit. But they had some tight security so probably at least fifty people got thrown out. I'm never going back there again. (by choice. I didn't get thrown out.) But yeah, just thought I'd put a little chuckle up on here.Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-64007048217280393292009-04-16T11:55:00.003-04:002009-04-16T12:19:20.629-04:00What Time is It?...Procrastination time!<br /><br />HAHA. So it has come to my attention that posting on here is something that it has been a long time since I have done. And currently I am writing a paper on the Matrix. HAHA I'm so excited, but at the same time it is a paper that I'm supposed to be writing and because of my antiauthoritarian subconsciousness of a two year old that will not allow me to write until I want to write, I am not writing at the moment. It has been about as enjoyable as a research paper can become though. Is there anyone in this world that would not want to watch one of their favorite movies for school? I am certain that there is someone in some collectivist society that would be opposed to it, but we live in the good old individualist United States where personal happiness is beginning to trump everything in its path. Say hello to 40 year olds who never got over the terrible two's... Uh, sorry I started out on a rant didn't I? *ahem*<br /><br />Anywho, the only movie that has recently passed the Matrix for me that isn't newer is Saving Private Ryan. The cinematography is so beautiful. I will never forget the image of the soldiers walking across the hilltops, silhouetted by what seems to be lightning in the clouds of the night sky, but after hearing the cracks and booms you realize it is not lightning. It is the distant flashes of warfare across the countryside. The scenery was great, but everything was captured in such a way that just made everything that much more beautiful. Even the dying soldiers- when I was watching it, it seemed so beautiful that sometimes I did not realize "oh gosh. that guy just died" until it was over with, even though blood was splattering and gushing everywhere. No I'm not a blood freak. Just the way it was captured had a way of making death even beautiful.<br /><br />well, back to the Matrix now...Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-9557484956885150212009-03-08T00:41:00.002-05:002009-03-08T00:45:52.116-05:0030 Bytes Through an 8 Bit BusYep. THATS what I feel like. Except I'm the bus. urgh. overload. Maybe I'll elaberate sometime soon. I need motivation to keep resending the information until it all gets through. *sigh* I'm so tired but I still have so much more to do before I sleep.Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-43797512745905388392009-03-04T02:44:00.003-05:002009-03-04T03:02:53.585-05:00So Close but Not There...Well, with my current capture devices and codecs this is as close to 1080i as I can get you for now. Here's Ryan and his twentysomething seconds of fame!<br /><OBJECT class=BLOG_video_class id=BLOG_video-24f4d7a8d8054acd height=266 width=320 contentId="24f4d7a8d8054acd"></OBJECT>Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-24296383510197099782009-03-02T13:30:00.002-05:002009-03-02T13:36:42.937-05:00PartialSo I did have a dream last night (well this morning). I did remember it when I first woke up, but then I went back to sleep and forgot. All I remember is something about a large selection of HD cameras (mine was in it). And something about a skinny blonde girl (nobody that I know). Well, that's it for now. I'm off to the Wake Forest Coffee Company so I can do my homework without being stuck in this stupid house all day. .:'.':.Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-17759919493699511502009-03-01T23:47:00.004-05:002009-03-02T00:24:55.840-05:00Sugar RushI'm completely not in the right mind to do any of my homework at this current moment, so I will write out my frustrations in this blog post. Basically it hasn't been a good last half of the week for me as far as anything really goes. Its been really hard for me to focus on schoolwork. I haven't been sleeping much and when I do sleep I have those weird exhausting dreams where you don't really feel like you've slept, but you feel as if you were just temporarily transported to an alternate reality.<br /><br /> I don't specifically remember them but I do know that they had to do with the general theme of most of my weird dreams: death, love, searching, dying, fighting, and trekking through dangerous areas. I've come to know the feeling that I wake up with after those kind of dreams, and I don't know why I haven't been able to recall those dreams lately. I haven't been able to recall much at all lately unless there's a button that is pressed that says "HEY! You DO remember that happening." So yeah, it sucks. A lot of people don't like to remember their bad dreams, but I do. They always seem to teach me a lesson or to somehow make me think- no matter how gruesome or horrible they are. And if I don't have "bad" dreams, they're usually very strange "Why the heck did my mind just do that?" types of dreams. I actually usually really enjoy those. They usually give me something to think about or sometimes even look forward to. <br /><br />In my dreams, if I remember them, I can use all of my senses- I even feel what's going on. It wasn't always that way (that I can remember). The first dream I really remember feeling anything was when I was 9 or 10, and in my dream I got stung on the leg by a small bee. Then at the end of the dream, I was stung on the lip by a bee about the size of my head. I don't remember the rest of the context of the bee stinging stuff right now, but I do remember feeling it in my dream. It felt so real, but when I woke up I realized it wasn't. Ever since then, all of my dreams have felt so real and alive- as if they were another life that I live. And that's why I like remembering them. They always give me new crazy experiences that are unlike the dull drone of what I currently experience. Fantastical worlds, giant things, wonderful people, horrible people, unexpected happiness, unwarranted failures, and impending doom. Next time that I have one that I remember, I'll have to write it down. <br /><br />But there's my frustration with all of this kind of thing- (with writing, and playing music and making videos for fun) I always feel like I have so much "important" stuff to do that when I do start something I hardly ever finish it. I know I'm putting some of that off right now by writing this blog, but its always on my mind- what I "have" to do rather than what I want to work on. And they usually end up conflicting and I get so stressed and frustrated. Then I can't do anything because I'm so frustrated that I can't think clear enough to do what needs to be done. And then by the time I'm done doing that, I'm too exhausted to do what I want to or another "important" comes up (usually work). I just wish that I could fuse the two together. I guess that's why I'm going to school. *sigh* I've said what I have said. Take it as you will.Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-12625232120056382362009-02-28T22:25:00.005-05:002009-02-28T23:40:07.223-05:00HEY YA!Lets see if this works...<br />Intro video for Ashley's wedding before the menu. I've had the whole thing done since early January I swear, but I haven't been able to figure out what the writing problem is. I've been working my way backwards recreating as I go. I know its a bad file somewhere, and I think I'm on top of it. I just gotta dig it out. Anyways... Tell me what you think...<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/jO8whVlbrIs&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0xe1600f&color2=0xfebd01"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/jO8whVlbrIs&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0xe1600f&color2=0xfebd01" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-3884568125750614332009-02-05T09:19:00.005-05:002009-02-05T09:25:33.195-05:00Here Comes the Sunrise Too Beautiful to MissThings to Do After Work<br />__________________<br /><ul><li>Do Theater assignment</li><li>Do History assignments</li><li>Read Eng. CH.</li></ul>__________________<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Imagine the world without romance. Imagine the world without music. Imagine the world without someone imagining... Dream dreamer- Dream.<br /></span>Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-12889081608519058022009-01-28T23:51:00.004-05:002009-01-29T01:24:32.832-05:0026 Hour DaySo lately I haven't been sleeping well. I don't exactly know why, but for the past week I've been waking up inbetween 2 and 3 am every day. I'll just wake up and be like "not again..." ugh. I usually am able to fall back asleep, but one night I was just wide awake so I stayed online talking to my Uncle for a couple of hours before my failed attempt at sleeping again, and then getting ready for work. But anyways, school is going pretty well. I haven't had any REAL assignments due yet so we'll see. Just a bunch of reading....<br />I really don't mind reading at all, but to go from not reading much to having to read your life away... I don't know, I just get so bored with it and I'm like "OK, can't this be over with by now?" So I don't get that way, I'll have to grab a bottle of water or a giant cup of coffee or something to keep myself occupied. I'm actually kindof liking my classes so far. You just kinda show up and listen and read and ocasionally write. They could use a little more structure, but hey... its easy.<br /><br /><em>I stayed up for 26 hours Tuesday/Wed.... (after sleeping like 3 1/2)</em><br />So Tuesday morning was the morning that I woke up at 2am and talked to Uncle Jackie and didn't sleep again. At work, Nicole told me about a show at the Brewery (Love and Reverie) and I decided to go with her @8. I worked until 10. It was kinda slooowww.<br />Then I came home for a few hours and decied to go study at the bookshop in Louisburg. I got me a giant eggnog latte (yes they really do exist there) and studied for a couple of hours. Then I saw the "buy 1 get 2 free" sign, so I looked around and bought a book on fiction writing, one on the history of Utopian fiction, and one on abnormal experimental sociology. -Fun stuff for $5- Then I studied again until around 6. <br /> I couldn't really study anymore, I didn't want to go home, I had some time to kill, and I was hungry. So I decided to go ahead and call Nicole and we met at the Huddle House in Lousiburg. <br /><br />Then we went to the Brewery. Doors open at 8 right? So we get there at 7:50 and nobody's outside waiting to get in. Thinking that they already let people in because of it being kinda chilly, I go to open the door and its locked. So we were the only two that stood there waiting for the door to open and we ended up being the first people in. More people slowly trickeled in later because I guess we were the only people that didn't know that there were supposed to be like 6 bands there.... AND wow. There was this one chick there who must have been a professional hula-hooper because she was doing things with a hula-hoop that I didn't know were phyically possible. She was doing it like around her body with both arms in and would pull one out and then switch and go from like her knees to the top of her hands and stuff. She even hula-hooped on ONE shoulder. Not around her arm, but just on the outside of her shoulder. It was pretty amazing.<br />...Yeah... the bands were pretty good too. lol. I saw Charles there. And it was good music. I kinda wanted a cup of coffee there though, because some of it just made me want coffee. Oh man. Love and Reverie had a kind of simplistic but very effective light set. I really liked it. If I ever take it off my phone, I'll put it on here. I was mesmerized. well here's something similar I found on youtube.... If you don't want to watch the whole 5 mins, just skip ahead to about 3:40. It was so much better at the Brewery though. And they sounded so much better...<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/JcwMG4-u0ww&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/JcwMG4-u0ww&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />It was kinda late, and the last band wasn't that great so we left during their set. Since we were near it, I wanted to go get some doughnuts from the Krispy Cream on Peace St. So we get there and they stopped serving at midnight. grrr.... And we kinda wanted something to do so we wandered around peace st, but nothing was open. (Nothing IS open that late in Raleigh). And since I still wanted doughnuts, we stopped at the Dunkin. Well... they didn't have chocolate glazed- just frosted- Which forced me to buy a cup of coffee. And I must say their coffee was quite tasty and went perfect with their chocolate frosted doughnuts. So we ate the doughnuts (which were also quite tasty despite not being glazed) in the parking lot. And by the time I took her home and got home myself, it was 3 something. I smelled like the Brewery and didn't want to go to bed smelling that way so I decided to take a shower and kept dozing off in the process. I was TIRED. Then it was around 4 by the time I went to bed.<br />All I remember after that is the sound of my alarm at 11... My 26 hour day...<br /><br /><br />And nothing really interesting happened today. I woke up; went to school; read in the library until about 6:30. And then I came home thinking that I had to go to work tomorrow (now this morning), but I didn't. I could've read some more. Oh well... because of that, I got to play Zelda: Twilight Princess for the first time. Its really cool. ...Well, that's enough for now. goodnight.Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-11387361957885026332009-01-20T21:37:00.005-05:002009-01-21T00:18:30.987-05:00I want that one more moment to not say I'm sorry.So I haven't posted on here for a while. And this will be my first post for this year woohoo! I think I might have more stuff to say after I finish watching The Matrix Reloaded.<br /><br /> Basically I've been holding a lot inside of me lately that I'm not sure if i should let out or not. And its really killing me to do so. I feel so confined by my own rules and thoughts that I'm letting the cage fight the lion. When really its not so hard to just unlock the door. And if the lion attacks me, so what? I may die. The lion may die. Or everything might be ok. I don't know. This uncertainty scares me. I wish I could speak more and elaborate, but sadly I cannot right now. Please do not misunderstand. This is not necessarily something bad, but it is just a decision that I must make. I just want the wisdom to make the right choice. <br /><br /><em>"Which brings us at last to the moment of truth wherein the fundamental flaw is ultimately expressed and the anomaly reviled as both beginning and end... as you adequately put, the problem is choice. But we already know what you are going to do don't we?"</em>Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4026052059362971136.post-66560136314485512282008-12-28T21:17:00.001-05:002008-12-28T21:19:59.852-05:00There are other posts after this one...Poetry blog special @ <a href="http://lovedeathpoems.blogspot.com/">http://lovedeathpoems.blogspot.com/</a> (For now it will only be found here and the paper that I originally wrote it on.)Jay-Nohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09424054008864883777noreply@blogger.com2