Its nearing 2AM and I'm still awake. That's the way its been lately. I don't have much to do during the day except wait for that phone call saying that I'm in the system to go to the Air National Guard. I'm so ready to just do something. Anything really. My whole life so far has been working to this point- to go to college. Then when I finally make it here, I have the hardest time deciding what I want to do. Then I have to figure out how I'm going to do it. I'm probably done with over a quarter of my life so far, and what has it been? Its been working to make it through the other three quarters of it. Now what stands in my way? The BIG GREEN. And I know a way to make it not even a factor. Its just going to take a little more time and effort than I had originally planned on, but that's okay with me. I'm just going to be stressed out and depressed until all this is rolling.
Its so frustrating to just wait. I guess that's a problem I've had throughout my life is that I don't like to wait on things to happen. I just want to make them happen faster, but a lot of times I don't know how. And usually there is no way to make things happen faster, so all the time I could've spent with other things was spent on this one thing and it just all gets messed up. It makes sense to me, but it might not to some people.
So realizing my fault, I am now setting out to change this (you are seeing my mind as I type tonight). Tomorrow, I will start to completely prepare myself for what I know lies ahead rather than wishing what lies ahead will get here sooner. Rather than wait, I will prepare.