Tuesday, June 24, 2008

For Today, We Wish The Skies Were Grey

Lately I've been on a slump of everything. A slump of will; a slump of mind; a slump of creativity; a slump of happiness; a slump of motivation; just a slump. And lately I've been having these odd dreams and only remembering certain details about them without remembering the whole dream. It really sucks. I like having dreams whether they are good are bad, I like them.

I've just tried so hard to find a job, but haven't even come close to finding one. But then when I think about it, I feel like I haven't been trying hard enough. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like a failure. I kind of expected a call from the Air National Guard today, but nobody called me- nobody at all. I'm just really disappointed in the world. The world sucks. Really I guess its that America sucks. Its such a consumer driven society, but when the consumers can't consume then there is no more society. There really is no social part of America either. Its all work, eat, and shop. No one really gets out and does anything that doesn't cost money. Now even just to go somewhere costs money with the way the gas prices are. I'm tired of everything, and I'm tired of how I am. I'm trying to do better, but even though I want to do better I don't do better. I just have to do something, but then do I really know how I want to do it? UGH, this is how my mind is right now- just scattered in 5000022343u27161738927 different directions.
"All we are, are crocodiles."


Alicia said...

Sorry about the slump. Money stinks, you have to get a job to do something, and then another job to pay to get to the job, and then another job to pay to do stuff.

Just wait till heaven. Nothing will cost then. :D

Lifes Battle at Heart said...

You are so not a failure
don't even think that way!!!
Just try to keep your head up, work your way up.
Love ya!