Wednesday, November 25, 2009

ReallY?

Wow. I've been sitting here for a while and have done absolutely nothing useful. So with a biscotti in my left hand and a coffee in my right I decided to update my blog since I'm obviously not going to get any real work done in this place. I checked my email, poked around on Facebook (its been a while), looked at new computer possibilities, and pondered my life.

Then I realized my computer has been running awfully slow lately so I checked my task manager window. I was only running one very small application and my CPU load was fine, but for some reason I was using 1.3GB of memory! Gah. I only have about 1.5GB of RAM in the whole computer. So I started killing processes left and right. That helped some, but not too much. Then I remembered that Dad had the same problem a while back. I called and asked what he did. I had to go msconfig and kill all of the unncessary start up programs, which was all but two. And there were a lot of them. So now even with the internet open, a wireless configuration utility, and iTunes playing Demon Hunter and converting files I'm only using around 400MB of page file. Pretty sweet. And everything is so much smoother. Hurray for cell phones and Dads that know things.

So now tonight I'm going to our Thanksgiving eve service at church. I don't recall ever going in the five years that I've been here. I wonder what its going to be like... I guess we shall see.
I've been really down and unproductive lately. Its like there has been something blocking me from being productive and doing useful things for my life. I think I know what it is (I don't want to be too specifically personal on the www, but don't worry its nothing that would change the content rating of my blog or anything even remotely in that area- for those who would take it in that direction. I just don't want people to speculate about things that they don't know.) and my mind shouldn't dwell on it too much longer (I hope) but I still do. I feel like I've just wasted so much time lately, but now I have an oppourtunity to pick up and move on to where I was. I was going so strong, but then I let myself get a bit distracted. I knew I shouldn't have in the first place, but I did. I lay my forehead to the table as a result of my clouded thinking. Oh well, "Don't waste time on what might have been." That is a fortune cookie I got a while back and it has been in my wallet to remind me to keep pressing foward no matter what things used to look like. It is different now. The matter of what is good and what is best has been settled. And as the cold azure sky is highlighted with swirls of warm pink with a hint of orange and the world is cast in warm colors against a cool background, I shall leave my seat and begin the night.

2 comments:

U N G E H E U E R. said...

Hey, uh, how do I follow your blog? It is so wierd. I see no follow button here...

LoveDeath said...

now you can...