I Am Broken Before You

You are sovereign, God. You are the Lord God who made the stillness- the quiet that surrounds me. The leaf flutters even when the wind moves gently because the wind is much greater than the leaf. You made the birds that sing their song for the purpose of our ears. How can I write about silence? How can I write about such a thing? I do not know it fully, for even now I hear the quiet, distant bird and the faint chatter of the insects. O Lord, your love is in the insects- the grasshoppers who have no king yet are motivated by your purpose and your design. Move me as you move them. You do move me yet unknowingly I resist. Though I long to know you, I cannot fully know. Just as I call this silence, so I call you God, Sovereign, Yahweh, Creator, Love. I would never fully grasp the depth of silence unless my ears were removed from my head. In the same way I can never fully grasp you until I am brought to perfection as you are. Though you can see perfection, I have no concept of exactly what it is for my ears have only heard of it. My eyes have not yet seen it. The wind blows, but I only hear the trees. I give this day to you, whatever it may be. Strip me down and let me leave all I've known for all I need.

I had a dream last night. I don't remember all of the details as I did when I woke up for the first of three times this morning, but I do remember some. I was on an island in a castle filled with people that I loved and filled with people that loved me. There was more, but I think it was just me interacting with those people and having fun and enjoying being around them. I do remember that the skies quickly grew dark and storms came. There were people with me in the first one, but as the intensity of the storms grew, the people around me grew fewer and fewer until no one was left but me. The storm grew so fierce that all of the windows in the tower were blown away, and I fell to the floor and crawled against a wall to hide from the wind. As I cowered there wondering what happened to everyone and when was this going to end, a door was blown away by the wind and Jesus was standing there. He gave me this look of "I got this. Don't worry." And that's the last I remember.